Some experts suggest that a little stress is good, but high levels of
stress are harmful to most people. However, it is possible to perform
well when relaxed (think masters of kung fu). In my opinion, that should
be the goal: a classroom (and life) that is productive and virtually
stress-free.
A traffic jam can prompt feelings of stress one day
but not the next, indicating that, with the right training, we are be
able to face stress with equanimity. The most common approaches are
familiar: eliminating the sources of stress and practicing techniques
such as breathing exercises or meditation. Since these are not practical
in a classroom, let's look at an approach that anyone can use: thought management, not only for teachers but also for educating our students.
Realize
that life is a conversation. Interestingly, the most influential person
we talk with all day is ourself, and what we tell ourself has a direct
bearing on our behavior, our performance, and our influence on others.
In fact, a good case can be made that our self-talk creates our reality.
Many psychologists have argued that, by thinking negatively, we cause
ourselves mental and physical stress. Stress is related to perceiving
the world as manageable or unmanageable. By practicing the three
principles below, we can reduce stress because these principles enhance
the management of our world. Practice of the principles also improves
relationships and increases our effectiveness in influencing others to
change their behaviors.
POSITIVITY, CHOICE, AND REFLECTION
The first principle to practice is positivity. We
know that we learn and do better when we feel good, not bad.
Unfortunately, rather than communicating in positive terms, we often
communicate in negative terms, such as by using consequences. Although
consequences can be positive or negative, when we refer to them we
usually mean imposed punishment, which is negative and coercive. A more
effective approach than consequences is the use of contingencies. Rather
than reactive and negative, contingencies are proactive and positive.
In contrast to imposed and reactive consequences, proactive contingencies rely on internal motivation
and are perceived in a positive way. "You can do that as soon as you do
this." "When/then" and "as soon as" assist in sending both a positive
message and placing the responsibility on the young person, where it
belongs. Notice these in the following examples: "When your work is
finished, then you can go to one of the activity centers." "Sure, you
can go, as soon as your work is finished." Although the result of a
contingency is the same as that of a consequence, the message and
emotional effect are markedly different.
When using a consequence,
the responsibility for checking is placed on the enforcer, the adult.
When using a contingency, the responsibility is on the youngster. In
addition, whereas a consequence implies a lack of trust, a contingency
conveys a message of confidence and trust. The crucial difference can be
best understood in personal terms. Which would you prefer to hear your
supervisor say to you: "If you leave and are not back on time, we will
have a real problem," or "Sure, you can leave as long as you are back in
time"? Communicating in positive terms reduces stress, improves
relationships, and is more effective than negativity in prompting change
in others.
The second principle to practice is the use of choice.
Choice empowers. Many practitioners who have written about behavior
maintain that choice is the prime principle of empowerment. Young people
learn that regardless of the situation, external stimulus, or internal
impulse or urge, they still have the freedom to choose their responses.
Freedom to choose one's response is fundamental in a civil society. It
is incumbent upon the adults of our society to teach young people that
they have a choice in controlling their behaviors and that it is in
young people's own best interests to choose appropriate responses.
When
a student comes into a classroom stressed by home life or some
incident, the student has a choice: be controlled by the stimulus or
redirect thinking into becoming engaged in the lesson being taught.
This choice is within the student's power to make. I taught my students
to continually say to themselves, "I am choosing to...."
The third principle to practice is reflection.
Reflection also reinforces the other two practices of positivity and
choice. Reflection is essential for effective learning and retention. In
addition, reflection engenders self-evaluation, which is the critical
component for change and an essential ingredient for happiness. Perhaps
Stephen Covey in his "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People"
put it most succinctly when he stated, "In all my experiences I have
never seen lasting solutions to problems, lasting happiness and success,
that came from the outside in." (p. 43)
Reflection is a powerful
teaching and learning strategy that is too often overlooked. The key to
reflection is the skill of asking self-evaluative questions. Here are a
few examples: "Are you angry at me or at the situation?""Does what you
are doing help you get your work done?""What would an extraordinary
person do in this situation?" and "Are you willing to try something
different if it would help you?"
Unfortunately, teachers ask ineffective
questions such as, "Why are you doing that?" This is a pothole
question. First, most people cannot articulate their motivation and
second, the youngster may answer, "Because I have ADD." Better never to
ask a student a "Why?" question regarding behavior!
Asking
reflective questions is a skill that any teacher can master. Once
started on the journey of asking reflective questions, rather than
telling students how to behave, you will be amazed at how effective and
simple is the strategy.
